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June 9th, 2003


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11:58 pm - Polyfiller
Yesterday's post has been certified AA for Abnormal Arrogance, not least for three completely gratuitous uses of the word "hell". The perpetrator's ego has been deflated. Habitually meek service will now resumed shortly.



The Killer Meme



The Great and the Good stopped by slowfox's LJ to pool their collective curiosity, and here's what they want to know about you:



...snip to...

Media and Culture



slowfox: Hollywood called: they're filming your life story. Who do you cast as yourself?

Danny Baker, as discussed yesterday.

angelofthenorth: They want to make your life into a Cartoon. Which graphic artist do you want to draw it?

John "Dork Tower" Kovalic, but more due to his board game involvement and his reputation as being a good guy than for his graphic art skills.

deralte: Your favourite Blackadder episode and why?

The one where there is an election in a rotten borough. I particularly enjoy it for its pseudo-contemporary election results coverage and for the sundry candidates within. It also includes the world's all-time outstanding comedy performance by a turnip. Transcript.

tybalt_quin: Movie adaptations of books - heinous, evil and always disappointing or perfectly acceptable?

Heinous, evil and frequently a lot of fun, so perfectly acceptable in my overall estimation.

primroseburrows: What one song brings up the strongest emotion (negative or positive) for you ?

There are always a lot of happy memories associated with "Three Lions" by The Lightning Seeds with Baddiel & Skinner. It's a happy song, the sporting associations are a lot of fun and the summer of '96 was a good time.

manubai: If you had the choice to live in any fictional world, as in transposed into a book, which one would it be? Please explain why.

There always seemed to be a lot of order, serenity, understanding and contentment in (highlight for spoiler: the world of the mulefa) within Philip Pullman's The Amber Spyglass. It always seemed a little better than that which human nature which could achieve to me.

katrionaa: What is your favorite artwork (painting, sculpture, etching, whatever) and why?

I don't have a natural-seeming answer here, so it's going to be rather a convoluted answer here: the picture of the Queen on the back of a £2 coin.

fharraige: Name twelve songs for the soundtrack of your life.

Twelve? That's bordering on taking things a little far, young lady. Nevertheless, here's a first approximation.

"Baa Baa Black Sheep", (arr. Trad). "Mah Na Mah Na", The Muppets. "Rat Rapping", Roland Rat. Those three take me up to about the age of 12.
Handel's Messiah. (Just one song? Zadok the Priest.) "Do They Know It's Christmas?", Band Aid. "Black and White", Michael Jackson. That takes me up to about the age of 17.
"Seasme's Street", The Smart E's. "John Kettley Is A Weatherman", A Tribe of Toffs. (Yes, that is correctly chronologically placed.) "Three Lions", Lightning Seeds, Baddiel and Skinner. That's up to about five years ago. Now it gets hard.
The theme tune to "All-Star Blitz". "The Last", 2ndavemusic. "Porcelain", Moby. Mock: now.

The weakest contender of the twelve is the Band Aid song, but I'm struggling to think of a replacement. Maybe we can shunt the timescales a bit and fit "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls in, or perhaps it'll end up being something else from TV or that I sang at some point. Let's quit while we're not too far behind.

eurydice9: If you could have only five cds, which would they be? No burned cds count - only ones you physically purchase in a store/online.

Windows 98, the installation CD with the driver for my ISDN modem, the installation CD with the driver for my video card, the installation CD with the driver for my sound card and Civilization II. What? Don't you want to be able to get back onto the Internet and get your music that way? (Solutions involving one Linux CD and four music CDs get due, but grudging, respect.)

magoo42: Batman or Superman?

Superman in a heartbeat. Moral ambiguity and darkness are not desirable characteristics in my book. (Ooh, I hear the intake of breath from you Snape fans from here...)

ladyvorkosigan: What fictional character do you most identify with and why?

Again, I don't have a natural-seeming answer here, so I'm going to have to go for something artificial, constructed and convoluted instead. The White Rabbit from (Alice In) Wonderland.

The Completely Hatstand Section



0100111: True or false: pineapple on pizza is wrong.

Life's too short to make moral judgements about pizza, 39; false. Nevertheless, I'd prefer my pizza to be a pineapple-free zone and I'll even pick my chunks off.

wcspegasus: If you were a color, what would you be and why?

Inobtrusive mid-blue. It's what I'm wearing now, it's what I tend to wear most frequently. Can't go wrong with it. That's the colour I'd like to be, at least - and, as this is my survey, I can.

soupytwist: If you could be an inanimate object, what would you be and why?

There are some obvious cheesy answers - favourite ladies' favourite underwear and the like. It would be prestigious, but hardly fun, to be one of the international standard kilograms. Let's go for Blackpool Tower; always a lot of fun going on inside me, usually full with lots of happy people.

sarendipitous: Assuming reincarnation exists, who do you think you may have been in a past life? How would you like to come back in the next?

A big, furry panda who lives in the wild rather than in a zoo. In both cases.

ivan_k: If you were a weapon, what would you be and why?

An elaborate Nerf Gun. Fun to play with, not at all practical, thought of as being harmless but capable of putting someone's else out if people don't take care with me.

risti: Do you wear orange? Why/Why not?

Only when I spill juice or similar over me. The closest I come in practice are some beigey light browns which might possibly be considered very dark orange if you're willing to stretch. Orange is a colour I only like in ducks' beaks and feet - and, in practice, they tend to be more brown than orange, anyway.

seren_himitsu: If you could ask your deity of choice one question and have it answered, what would you ask?

How the deity feels humans should live their lives.

moonrunner: True/False: Green buffalos come from Albania. (seriously, now.)

Google says

FALSE

so I do too.

Fair Trades and Dilemmas



angua9: If remaining a virgin (or abstaining from sex) for the rest of your life would allow you to do real magic, would you do it?

This is definitely a "depends", as they used to say in Scruples, but it's definitely one which is on the "yes" side. Let's put a couple of markers down: if I just lost my desire to have sex and in return would get, say, powers typical of that of a stereotypical storybook wizard of similar age, then I'd accept like a shot. If I retained my sexual desires, could never do anything to alleviate my sexual frustration for fear of crippling and eternal pain and only had the sort of untrained powers that could not be manifested deliberately, that would be a reluctant "no". I suspect the truth may lie somewhere between the two.

drbear: How much money would it take for you to appear naked (full-frontal) for five seconds on national television?

Possibly none under the right circumstances. If you imagine a show with a well-respected psychologist / sex therapist giving you a half-hour televised interview and lots of world-class, personally-tailored advice, where I and the doctor were both naked, I'd do that and some appropriate poses without charge. If I had no control over what the pose would be used for and knew that it was going to be used to embarrass me and my family as much as possible, £BIGNUM - a "practically close to infinity" sum which translates to about £15,000,000. By way of a mid-point, a load of cheeky exhibitionists posing full-frontal and alone, one after each other, by way of silly softcore non-contact porn: about £14,000 or so. (That started at 50 grand and, well, came down a bit.) That's approximately £13,950 more than I would get.

piperx: Would you rather be
  • a complete idiot with a charming personality
  • intellectually brilliant but have no friends?


Got to be the former. The latter gets kicked out of Big Brother early, the former tends to do rather better and sometimes even wins. Good metaphor for life, that.

jiggery_pokery: You can start any business of your choice, whether for-profit or non-profit, regardless of whether this business exists practically in the world or not and whether there's an existing business model to make your chosen business work or not. Irrespective of what it is, it will start off moderately successfully and eventually become very successful. You will make a very satisfactory wage and your investors/sponsors will be very pleased with your work. What business would you start?

What sort of a jerk would write a question as long as that? I'd like to run a high-quality social club primarily regarded as a destination for people to come and meet to play games of all sorts, to learn about new games and the like. It would serve food and drinks in comfortable surroundings, but the main attraction would be the games, the comfortable surroundings and the fine company. From time to time we would get special guests in, run competitions, organise particularly unusual games and the like. I'd like this business eventually to go national, maybe even global, but I'd like my own involvement just to be with running one such club.

sophie10: Would you sacrifice an unknown portion of your life so that a loved one could live for one more year?

I'd like to think I would, but it would depend very much on the loved one and the circumstances; if they were going to die immediately, or if I had reason to believe that they wouldn't live another week (or that they would live without me being able to give them a proper goodbye) then I would be more likely to do it, if they were going to die in (unknown amount of time + 1 year) rather than (unknown amount of time) then I doubt I would.

You can gack yoink (there shall be no "gack"ing on my LiveJournal, thank you very much) the meme questions, with all the prettifying code, from here (so please include this line when pasting your answers into LJ, right to the end of the cut tag).

Finally, from mctabby, commentary from the Sound Effect Generator:


wibble *ling* raaah yow jangle shush VRUM-VRUM dip

I repeat, the Vorlon has left the building.
Current Mood: meek like a little lamb
Current Music: Dodgy MIDI of one of the 12 songs on my life's soundtrack

(14 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


[User Picture]
From:jiggery_pokery
Date:June 9th, 2003 04:13 pm (UTC)
(Link)
The weakest contender of the twelve is the Band Aid song, but I'm struggling to think of a replacement.

Thought of the gag a minute too late: kindly replace that by "Jiggery-Pokery", Athropolis.

Can't not have that in. My LJ may not have been a twelfth of my life measured by time, but it's certainly been a twelfth of my life by influence.
[User Picture]
From:j4
Date:June 9th, 2003 04:19 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Whew. That "sound effect" breaks my friends page in this browser (IE 5 on the mac) really quite spectacularly.

What I get is pages and pages of whitespace, with the sound effect in the middle of it all, and then everything after that on my friends page (which is normally LJ standard "simple" page) has a blue background. If I view it behind the cut-tag it does similar but with the LJ footer after the pages of whitespace at the end of the sound-effect, and then the comments below that.

I think the table height=100% may be what's doing it. Isn't that 100% of the page? If so, isn't that going to play merry hell with the rest of the page?
[User Picture]
From:jiggery_pokery
Date:June 9th, 2003 04:48 pm (UTC)

(Link)
Oops, sorry about that. How does it look now?
[User Picture]
From:drbear
Date:June 9th, 2003 07:08 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Congratulations on the best answer I've seen for "life soundtrack" - most of the answers seemed to be soundtracks for current events instead of an entire life (or entire so far; I wish you as much longevity as you can take).

And I'll even ignore that you thought answers like my "Halle Berry-Intimate Apparel" one were cheesy. In Wisconsin, that's a compliment.

[User Picture]
From:lambertman
Date:June 9th, 2003 09:29 pm (UTC)

Ah hoppa in ja bobba...

(Link)
....biggila bah-jah-goo-juh-much!

*HUUUH!*
From:expetesso
Date:June 9th, 2003 09:40 pm (UTC)

More comments, also as promised earlier.

(Link)
Name twelve songs for the soundtrack of your life.
Very well designed, in terms of actual time coverage -- I'm impressed. (I actually went through and answered this one question for myself just now, following your guidelines -- though I have 13.) Also, you've had the Moby song playing countless times -- I went and downloaded it tonight, just to see what you're so hyped about. :-P EXCELLENT.

Batman or Superman?
Superman in a heartbeat. Moral ambiguity and darkness are not desirable characteristics in my book. (Ooh, I hear the intake of breath from you Snape fans from here...)

Undesireable in any people, or only in superheroes? If only the latter, why? I sort of have this not-yet-understood feeling that heroes in general are the most entitled to ambiguity in any sense, though I don't know if I necessarily like that.

You can start any business of your choice, whether for-profit or non-profit, regardless of whether this business exists practically in the world or not and whether there's an existing business model to make your chosen business work or not. Irrespective of what it is, it will start off moderately successfully and eventually become very successful. You will make a very satisfactory wage and your investors/sponsors will be very pleased with your work. What business would you start?
What sort of a jerk would write a question as long as that?

I must say that I couldn't possibly know anyone who likes to pose such difficult and convoluted questions... :)

And as before, there were no promises as to the quality of the comment-questions. :)
[User Picture]
From:jiggery_pokery
Date:June 10th, 2003 06:16 pm (UTC)

Re: More comments, also as promised earlier.

(Link)
Porcelain is by far the most credible of the twelve songs as a piece of pop music, though I would demur from comparing it to Handel.

Undesireable in any people, or only in superheroes? If only the latter, why? I sort of have this not-yet-understood feeling that heroes in general are the most entitled to ambiguity in any sense, though I don't know if I necessarily like that.

In story characters first and foremost. Probably I just don't appreciate complex stories and the shades of grey to be found within enough.

And as before, there were no promises as to the quality of the comment-questions.

Even fewer to the quality of the comment-question-replies. :-/ :-)

(Eep! It's 2:16 and I haven't even started writing my LJ post yet!)
[User Picture]
From:rialtus
Date:June 9th, 2003 10:08 pm (UTC)
(Link)
the Vorlon has left the building.

Yes.
[User Picture]
From:bateleur
Date:June 10th, 2003 12:47 am (UTC)
(Link)
I repeat, the Vorlon has left the building.

Sounds like he's kidnapped Jimmy Saville !
[User Picture]
From:jiggery_pokery
Date:June 10th, 2003 06:12 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Nah, that'd be

now then *now then* rattle rattle jewelry jewelry what's all this then Jim'll Fix It Badge

[User Picture]
From:j4
Date:June 10th, 2003 10:46 am (UTC)
(Link)
Whew. That "sound effect" breaks my friends page in this browser (IE 5 on the mac) really quite spectacularly.

What I get is pages and pages of whitespace, with the sound effect in the middle of it all, and then everything after that on my friends page (which is normally LJ standard "simple" page) has a blue background. If I view it behind the cut-tag it does similar but with the LJ footer after the pages of whitespace at the end of the sound-effect, and then the comments below that.

I think the table height=100% may be what's doing it. Isn't that 100% of the page? If so, isn't that going to play merry hell with the rest of the page?
[User Picture]
From:jiggery_pokery
Date:June 10th, 2003 04:31 pm (UTC)

Soundtrack - explained! (part 1 of 2)

(Link)
expetesso has explained her soundtrack in full, so here are the references behind mine:

"Baa Baa Black Sheep": apparently my favourite nursery rhyme when I was very young. Mum tells me that I took some time to learn how to recite its first line and spent a long time going "Baa Baa Black... Baa Baa Black... Baa Baa Black..." before finally and triumphantly appending "Sheep" to finish the line.

"Mah Na Mah Na": I think I actually had a cover version of this. There was a tape I owned at the time called something akin to "Trendy Pops for Today's Tots", which certainly featured a version of Mah Na Mah Na, which I think was sung by a Cockney fellow rather than K. T. Forg. (Other songs on that were "Tiger Feet" and "Save All Your Kisses For Me", plus many others that I don't remember.)

"Rat Rapping": popular rodent puppet du jour. Least said, soonest mended. Not too incredible or embarrassing for someone born in 1975 - at least, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Handel's Messiah, "Zadok the Priest": I was in the choir at school and I think this was the song I remember singing as part of it most vividly. I would've been a soprano at the time.

"Black and White", Michael Jackson: most notable because it was used in Channel 4's coverage of the 1992 General Election campaign. I had liked it beforehand for its cheeky, upbeat squealings, but the (completely unpredictable) election context always springs to mind.

"Sesame's Treet" - eep, I managed to get the name wrong in my post! - was a sort of dance/techno/ I-never-know-what-you'd-call-it version of the theme tune to Sesame Street. It was spectacularly silly and the first song of that type that I can remember proactively liking. I particularly liked it for considerable quotation from Count Von Count.
[User Picture]
From:jiggery_pokery
Date:June 10th, 2003 04:32 pm (UTC)

Re: Soundtrack - explained! (part 2 of 2)

(Link)
"John Kettley Is A Weatherman" is probably from the mid-'80s, but was always a footnote until university when I fell in with a group of gamers who liked singing it and other such comedy songs at considerable volume while drunk. JKIAW is the one which has stood the test of time best, against considerable competition. It is frankly a moronic song, more akin to a nursery rhyme involving the misadventures of membes of British pop culture of the time, but it is very silly in a good way. The chorus goes: "John Kettley is a weatherman, a weatherman, a weatherman. John Kettley is a weatherman and so is Michael Fish." They are indeed both weather presenters on television of the day.

"Three Lions", Lightning Seeds, Baddiel and Skinner makes it because it caught the nation's imagination at the time like very few others. The context is that it was the summer of 1996, and England were hosting the European (Nations') Football Championships. It's again a very simple song, somewhere between a Nursery Rhyme and an anthem, suitable for singing when you're drunk. (This is a common theme of many of my chosen songs. The fact that I do not get drunk is irrelevant.)

The chorus goes "It's coming home, it's coming home, it's coming, football's coming home". Twice. The "three lions" of the title refer to the badge of the England football team. It's a remarkable song for being in the right place at the right time. Very English indeed. Football was changing significantly at the time (well, over the past few years or so) and this is an indication of its extent. Broadly, supporting a football team was traditionally a working-class pastime and it has become a middle-class pastime. So to get two TV comedians singing a very simple song about it really caught the Zeitgeist of the time. See "I love 1996".

The next choice relates to the fact that one of the significant influences in my life since the start of university has been the game show fandom. "All-Star Blitz" was a not-at-all-missed 13-week game show in the USA which can best be described as a "Hollywood Squares" rip-off, but with triangles instead of squares, and dumber. However, it did have a very silly scat-style theme tune. Now over the 8 years or so I've been in the fandom, some of the folks in the USA sent around tapes of clear cuts of game show theme tunes, before mp3 sharing on the Internet was widespread. ASB had the silliest theme tune by far on any of these tapes. This explains the comment by lambertman above.

"Porcelain", Moby: That's most reminiscent of the good year or two working for the MSO web site full-time, when I would work from home listening to our local independent radio station. Simply, it's my favourite song that they used to play at the time, over the period of the MSO web site at its peak.

"The Last", 2ndavemusic: 2ndavemusic, the wonderfully-named Clay Zambo, is someone else who I met through the game show fandom. By profession, he composes and teaches music in NYC. He sent out a tape with some of his songs thereon and "The Last" was my favourite of them. It's essentially a paean to New Year's Eve. It isn't available online, though I've mentioned that it should be to him and he's said that putting it online is something he wants to do at some point. Hopefully this will be a nudge.

The twelfth tune, substituting for "Do They Know It's Christmas Time?" (a worthy but frankly not-very-personal choice) would indeed be that very strange "Jiggery-Pokery" song I discovered by chance due to Googling for Jiggery-Pokery to see what else it came up with. It's a very strange sort of country tune with a hilariously bad group-of-kazoos instrumental break. I pick it as being the most apt representative of my year on LJ, which has been very much different to the 26½ years beforehand, though it has been by no means the most-played song over that year.
From:2ndavemusic
Date:November 21st, 2003 06:53 am (UTC)

Re: Soundtrack - explained! (part 2 of 2)

(Link)
Considering your preference for songs that make you laugh, I'm surprised you chose "The Last" from my work. (You're in good company, though; it's my wife's favorite as well.) I was just running over it in my mind, trying to recall the "good bits" or "good sounds" on the recording you have.

'T any rate, tho' it's still not available online, if anybody's particularly interested I'll make a version of it so in time for the holidays.

Thanks for the nudge, and for your support!


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