Some time ago, I joined the Ultimate Bet online poker room principally so I could watch you nice people and you other nice people play poker there. I have watched a couple of tournaments and enjoyed them, but taken no further interest.
Accordingly, the Ultimate Bet people have sent me $5 free to go and play on their tables. I am not sure whether this is free money in the sense that I can get them to send it to my to PayPal account; however, I have tried. If they say no, then the next least bad thing that can happen to it is that one or more of you nice people end up with it.
Should they refuse, not unreasonably, then who would like to take $5 from me at poker? I have no interest whatsoever in staking any of my money in the game in excess of this freebie $5 and fully intend to stick it all in on the first hand, whatever the cards, in order to minimise the amount of rake that UltimateBet may extract. (I would expect you to do likewise. This makes it a slightly negative-expectation wager for both of us, to the extent of the rake, but this is the least negative expectation possible. I would then be happy to actually play poker against you later, but only with my 1,000 play chips.)
It would be nice to double-through, minus rake, a few times first and withdraw a slightly more reasonable sum - three doubles-through, to produce somewhere in excess of $25, or one year's Paid Account here, sounds sufficient for my requirements - but somewhat unlikely.