Teesside Snog Monster (jiggery_pokery) wrote,
Teesside Snog Monster

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Reading (as in stories, not as in Festival)

Am I a grotesquely unusual freak in finding pear skin far more pleasant than apple skin? I'm not bothered enough to set up a poll, just curious. If a biologist can comment on the science, even better still.

The "get out and see people in a social context without games or databases as distraction" series of events which has recently seen me in mixed company on (very slightly) more Friday nights than not, also known as the unofficial University of Teesside Fan Society, held its Slash Night tonight, as a possible prelude to a mooted Slash Season. Now a sizeable minority of you (including, I suggest, everyone not familiar with the term) will have your eyes glaze over at this point and skip onto the next post, but a small majority is likely to prick their ears up at news of this and investigate within - and this is quite as it should be.

Half a dozen attendees, FFFMMM, met at the university for spirited discussion over the fine and suitable (lie) background accompaniment that is MTV Hits. As quickly as we could, we decamped to a house with a DVD player, a VCR and an Internet-connected PC, with sundry discussions of strange Harry Potter fandom pairings along the way. I can think of at least two people who would be amused to hear we pondered the concept of the Dominatrix!Percy fic; suggested subs were not only the inevitable Oliver Wood but also the rather more imaginitive Sirius Black and the frankly insane (but we'd still like to see it) Lucius Malfoy.

There was also mention of an Internet campaign to get Billy Connolly cast as Mad-Eye Moody for Goblet of Fire. Those who see Billy as being a bit too "CONSTANT VIGILANCE... ah, do ye bloody think so?" might prefer the alternate suggestion of Bill Bailey. Frankly both of them have the look to play the role with no more graphical assistance being required other than the titular mad eye.

There were a couple of videos shown: episodes supposedly hand-selected for slashiness of Xena: Warrior Princess (the musical episode, which rather suffered from using commercial pop songs and from at least one principle with a range of one note) and of anime series El Hazard. Both episodes generated the comment "Actually, that's not as slashy as I remember it being and in fact most of the other episodes are rather slashier than that", so a slight miss. I particularly enjoyed El Hazard; I had been infected by the catchiness of one of its pieces of ending music (Boys Be Free - Japanese lyrics, dubbed English lyrics, no attempt to be more than a spirit translation) about six or seven years ago at university, so it was a real joy to finally learn the context.

There were also readings of short slash stories out loud, mostly as lurid and deliberately objectionable as possible. We started with a piece about a hermaphroditic Severus Snape, featuring a very neat turn of phrase, and a strange piece of Wood/Astin LotRPS (as requested, in a "bad romance" accent). There were at least a couple of other works along the way before ending up with one of the recs from hp_pervs - which is probably all you need to know about it - and a truly terribly written piece about a fairy who gets caught in a spider web and molested by two spiders. The last of these was the easiest to read, but principally because there was lamentable repetition of a very small number of phrases which rapidly lost any eroticism that they might once have had. Suffice to say I think the phrase "oral action spider" has only comic value, and even that under a very limited set of circumstances. (Can I hear you Googling from here?)

I do rather enjoy reading pieces aloud. It strikes me that this is not something which seems currently to happen a great deal in the Harry Potter fandom, which probably implies there is no great demand for it rather than anything else. Nevertheless, I would be happy to take recs which could be read within the five-minute span of a LJ PhonePost, so probably about a 500-750 word limit, or longer pieces if someone's willing to put up the bandwidth for the audio files. Hit me with whatever you like; I've seen the hp_pervs stuff and lived, so colour me sturdy. It's probably easier to have fun overreading badfic than it is to try to give a serious delivery of a heartfelt piece, but I take all challenges. (Minus the likes of the million-word Psychic Serpent series, which would take many days.)

I don't claim to be a great reader, but I'd like to think that I'm already a competent one and I'd like to improve through practice and constructive criticism as feedback. While I do try to vary things in terms of tone, pitch, volume and speed, I suspect I am overdoing it at the moment as a rookie mistake and would probably benefit from greater evenness rather than greater emphasis. (Plus lots of practice, naturally.) I don't do accents at all well, so I try not to do them at all. Nevertheless, the fact that I am British and male gives me some sort of homefield advantage in such matters, though I'd like to hear some of my fellow t00bs giving readings as well.

So what can I read for you?

It is Fan Society convenor fruufoo's Fancy Dress Birthday Party tomorrow, as a prelude to her birthday on Sunday. Still not really keen on highly alcoholic parties, let alone any thought of getting alcoholic at them myself, but at least this one will largely be filled with weirdos who are weird in a nice way, so a definite step in the right direction by way of party-related training wheels.
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